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In today’s world there are many more blended families. This may be the result of one parent re-marrying or re-partnering, the parent having further children with other people, and the mingling of existing families when two people are in a relationship. There are many relationships to manage in a blended family, the relationship between each of the children and the adults, and the relationships, between each of the children. It can be a difficult territory to navigate to ensure everyone gets on and the family works together.
In an article published on news.com earlier this month, it was about a ‘step-mother’ writing an open letter to the biological mother of her step-son. It is a letter of these two women, and the father, embracing the co-parenting relationship between them, and the two mums, now being ‘best friends’.
The step mother wrote from the perspective of society normalising the view that she is to hate and detest the biological mother of the child, now that she is in a new relationship with the child’s father, and vice versa, the mother hating the step mother. Whilst their relationship early on was one similar to that, with very little interaction or even eye contact, it was not until the step mother in this situation became a mother herself that she realised how difficult it must have been for the mother to permit the child to spend time with his father with her around, when she knew nothing about her. She put herself in the mother’s shoes and considered what she would do (all thoughts were not rational!).
The step mother came to realise that her and the child’s biological mother had the same interests and goals at heart. They both loved and adored the little boy, and wanted the best for him. So why couldn’t they get on and deal with the situation like adults?
The two mums then started communicating online through a parenting page and began to learn about each other. They have then developed themselves as ‘co-mums’.
These women, and the father should be proud of themselves for having navigated the mind field that it parenting, but also with an additional mum involved. These people have taken on the new challenge and arrived at an outcome that is in the child’s best interests, of all adults being able to work together. I am sure there is not always agreement between the three, but they have developed mechanisms to work together issues with their child in mind. These people have all taken a very child focused approach to their co-parenting relationship, and as a result their child will thrive.
Remaining child focused in the face of Court proceedings is often difficult, people must always remember that the children’s best interests are the paramount consideration, and not the parent’s best interests.
If you require tailored family law advice on parenting matters, please contact one of our specialised family lawyers.
Image Credit – Wang Tom © 123RF.com
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